For me, I went from my former self - the self that I spent years getting to know, the self that went through countless adventures to build character and morals and strengths, the self that finally became comfortable in her own skin, the wise self with knowledge of all I've learned through life thus far, the self that has experienced heartbreaks, friendships and finally true love - and in just one day, the day of the birth of our first child, all that crap I thought I knew disappeared into a puff of smoke!
All of a sudden, I was holding this little bundle of joy, something my husband and I created, and I felt like I didn't even know myself anymore. I wasn't that girl who had it all together, who knew everything about life. This was a whole new life I had no idea about. I was a WOMAN! And not just a woman, but a mom. This kid depended on me. I was completely clueless and petrified but also completely and utterly in love. And with each new child we brought into the world, my love for them grew while that girl I once knew began slowly disappearing. Things that were once important to me were put on the back burner. Their needs came before mine. Their happiness came before mine. And all of that is ok. But somewhere in the last six years of my newfound motherhood, I lost myself. And that's not ok.
My experiences became my kids experiences. Theirs were the only ones that mattered. I was definitely NOT comfortable in my own skin anymore, going from skirts and makeup to an ongoing relationship with maternity clothes and barely brushed hair. I gained weight, and it made me feel awful. I no longer had all the answers, and in fact, I constantly needed help and advice. My passions that once were entwined with my dreams were far at the wayside. And that girl seemed like a distant memory.
But one day something happened. An awakening, if you will. I don't think it was anything in particular, but something made me remember that girl. Something made me remember what I loved about her and what others loved about me. And I wanted her back. Not completely back (we all have to grow up someday), but somehow, I awakened her spirit and willed for that girl to reunite with the mother I had become.
And so begins my journey. It's my journey of "finding Mrs. Farrell." It's not just about losing weight. It's not just about getting healthy. Those are great perks, but it's way more than that. It's about building my friendships and relationships with those who matter most. And it's a quest to reignite my passions.
Most importantly, it's about remembering that I can take care of my family and inspire my children if I take care of myself first.
I hope you come along with me for this journey and maybe you too will be inspired.
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